Hello Voices, I met my ex in August 2008(I was in my first year) and he was in his 2nd year. I was 18 and It was love at first sight. He respected me so much that even when his friends put silly ideas in his head to have sex with me before another person does, he told them that he isn't with me because he wants sex but because he loves me. The relationship blossomed and I knew the meaning of love through his actions.
In June 2009, ASSU went on strike and we all had to go home. In August, on my way home from the saloon, a guy in a car stopped me. We got talking and he requested for my number and I refused and walked away. Few days later I met him again close to my house. I never knew he lived on my street. He begged for my number and said he just wanted to be a friend. So I gave him my number. My boyfriend started complaining that I was becoming cold on him and I assured him everything was fine. The new guy began calling me and inviting me to his place. So I went to visit him. We talked at length and he asked if I was in a Relationship and I said No(I regret that every day). And he said he would want to date me. I told him I wasn't interested but that we could be friends. My relationship began to suffer. My bf called my sis to ask me if he had done anything wrong. My sis asked me and I told her everything. She advised me never to leave my boyfriend for a random guy.
The new guy kept pestering me and I gave in. I didn't know how to break the news to my boyfriend. So I sent him a text that it was over between us. He called and begged, crying on different occasions. My sis begged me. But I didn't listen. Naivety and immaturity took a hold on me.The strike was called off in 02 October and the new guy dropped me at school.
My ex boyfriends next door neighbour was my course mate. She begged me severally to come and see him. That he is no longer himself and that he cries everyday but I didn't know how to face him.The new guy kept talking about sex and I told him I wasn't going to have sex.
In Feb 2010, I went to see him and he was playing musical in loud manner. We kissed and before I knew it he was going for my pants. I screamed but he covered my mouth. He forcefully took my virginity away. Later he was pleading. I quickly ran home and cried.
Meanwhile my ex was still coming around to check up on me. We became good friends. I wanted to tell him everything and that I wanted to come back but I did not know if he would forgive me. I never knew he was still in love with me. He kept coming until he graduated.The new guy ended up to be a liar, cheat and an abuser. In my final year(2011), I called off the relationship. I still kept talking with my ex. Last year February, I travelled to Lagos and I called him. He said he would call me back but never did. I came back to portharcout and barely few weeks after that, he called me that he was in PH and wants to see me. And I told him I was busy. I wanted to pay him back for what he did to me when I went to Lagos. And then I called him sometime in Aug last year and he said he just arrived London for his MSc. We started talking again and one day he asked me what he really did to warrant the breakup text he got from me. He also said all through the time he was coming to see me, he was still feeling we would get back and I told him that was exactly what I wanted but I didn't know if he will forgive me. And just few days ago I got jealous that I wasn't in his mutual friend list. So I called to ask him why he hates me so much. He became furious and told me that we are just friends except fate decides otherwise. The truth is after I called off the relationship with the random guy, I have been deliberately single since.
Please, I love my ex so much. I know he still loves me too. How do I repair everything? How do I get my relationship with him back. I feel it deep down that we are meant for each other. I feel it everyday. I need advice.
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Thanks for sharing your story ma'am and this is really a big issue. The first mistake is giving that guy a chance in your life by telling him you are single. There is this saying that 'you don't know the value if what you have until you lose it'. You lost a guy that loves you because of material things. Yes, we ladies are addicted to material things but the line must be drawn! There is a clear difference between love and things of this world. My sister, you fell in love with his CAR, that's just the fact.
And to your question, it's gonna be hard getting him back. Guys don't forgive cheats and they don't forget. I will suggest you tell him everything from the beginning and express yourself as deep as you can. Tell him you love him and wants him back. If he's still interested, congrats ma'am and if he's not, please move on with your life. Tell yourself it's an experience and you should let it develop you. I'm so sorry your naivety brought this upon you. I wish you all the Best.
I wouldn't say u love him... I would say you are back professing love to him because the other guy left u... and u now realize your mistakes... I'm pretty sure if d other guy didn't turn out to b a jerk... you'd still be with him
You were young, you were venerable and a mistake happened, we can't blame you, but u still blame your self and it's affecting you from moving forward, one advice sis, tell your ex the truth and don't beg for his love, if he loves you he will come if not then please move on, don't beg for love or relationship just keep a good friendship with him. Things will happen back naturally...
I will not tolerate insults please.
If u guys are still talking, tell him dt u r ready to open 2 him all dt happened, tell him everything not bcos u want to get back but so dat u can free ur mind and also he can get closure, cos he deserves an explanation. If after said he sees ur sincerity, let him b d one 2 make d move of wanting to come back. But the truth is if u force ur way into his life, u ll b miserable forever.
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